Talk to Your Kids About Their Dreams
By Marcia Wieder – America’s Dream Coach®
When I recently spoke at a PTA meeting, a father was there with his young daughter while mom was working late at the office. After my speech, he turned to her and said, “Tell me one of your dreams.” With a big smile she said, “Daddy, my dream is to be a teacher.” I waited because the logical response I typically hear to this dream is “Teachers don’t make enough money so perhaps you should consider something else.”
This great dad was truly wearing his Dream Coach hat as her offered a heartfelt response. With an encouraging touch on her shoulder he said, “You’ll make a great teacher. Anyone that has you as their teacher will be so lucky.” Her face lit up. As I thought about it more later perhaps this young girl’s dream isn’t about making a lot of money but rather to be a great teacher. Or maybe because someone believed in her and her dream, she’ll grow up to write a Pulitzer Prize winning novel. Or maybe, if we dream big enough, she’ll be the one who revamps the educational system. Extraordinary things can happen when we believe in dreams.
Now, please don’t be like my friend who called me last week, all concerned. “My six year old wants to be a K-Mart checker,” she shrieked into the phone. “What should I do?” I replied, “Tell her she’ll make a great checker and trust me, she’ll change her mind a few hundred times between now and the time she heads off to school.”
The point is, talk to your kids about their dreams. Encourage them, believe them and help them explore their heart’s desire. If your child wants to be a pilot, take them up to peek into the cockpit or over to a flight school. If they want to be a filmmaker or actress, as soon as they are old enough or it’s appropriate, take them onto a movie set or to an acting class. Say yes to their dreams.
What are you modeling around the dinner table on your own dreams? Are you expressing what you want and showing how you are pursuing what matters to you? Or are you complaining about how much you hate your job or how bad something is, and that you can’t so anything about it? Kids don’t miss a thing, so catch your self in the act. Are you being a Dreamer or a Doubter?
You are already a hero in your child’s eyes, so here’s your chance to encourage them to dream and to see what’s possible. And practice seeing the world through heir eyes too. Reconnect to your imagination, to your child-like curiosity, to the part of you that believes anything is possible. While you are teaching your child or children to dream, let them also teach you.
I was excited to speak at a company that offered a Family Dream day with me on a Saturday afternoon. Steve showed up with his daughter Lisa. She kept her head down as he introduced her to me and then lamented, “She’s sixteen and we’re having our challenges. She used to be an A student. Now she’s running with a fast crowd, her grades are starting to slip and she won’t listen to anything we have to say. I nodded with empathy and said, “We’ll, she’s here. Let’s see what happens.”
They completed the workshop and as they left Steve shot me a hopeful glance. It was two years later when I received this call from him. “Marcia, that day Lisa shared her dream with me. She wanted to be a fashion designer. I said I would be part of her Dream Circle so together we researched fashion schools and the kind of grades she would need to get in.
Needless to say, just as you teach, her dream and her reality were miles apart. But she said she really wanted this dream and would do whatever it would take. I got her a tutor, she worked hard to get her grades up, and she put her attention on her goal. It was impressive and I cheered her on. I am thrilled to report that she graduated in the top 10% of her class and got accepted into the institute. More than anything, I want to thank you because we now have our daughter back and we have never been happier.
Talk to your kids about their dreams. Demonstrate that you believe in them and amazing things will occur. And while you’re at it, it wouldn’t hurt to let them believe in your dreams too!
Marcia Wieder is president of www.dreamcoach.com.
To receive her free e-book, How to Be A Dreamer, go to www.dreamcoach.com/dreamer