Dreamer Deals With Bulimia
My dream was to live a life pleasing to God. But I lived with a dispair in my life that prevented me from my dream.
At the age of 17 and for 28 years I lived a lonely, silent, despicable, self-inflicted existence. My fear of gaining weight led me to a life of bulimia. This was not a casual addiction it was a lifestyle for me. And over time I reached a point in my life where nothing mattered to me but my two children and my addiction. My relationship with my husband, my family, my friends and even my relationship with God took a backseat to my addiction. Knowing I would never seek outside help or counseling due to my utter shame and embarrassment of letting such an addiction control my life, I instead went to THE great Counselor, 'God Himself'. Dreams and prayers of someday living a life that radiated His glory seemed only a wish I had; and not a hope or a possibility. Yet all along I knew that God IS hope and He knew my true heart was to serve Him; and 'what is impossible with man is possible with God'! He provided a way for me to overcome the addiction I allowed to take away so many years of my life.
In 2003 our pastor did a series of sermons on the 'Seven Deadly Sins'. The last one being 'gluttony' and in my notes from that sermon was... You can try to resist food, but if it is not replaced with something it just won't work.
Well, God had placed an opportunity in my life that was going to be that 'something'. I did not know it at the time but certainly God already knew the success of His plan for me. This Saturday August 5th I will celebrate 20 months of 'not one time', (after 28 years of that addiction having a stronghold on me), have I yielded to the habits of bulimia. Short of the 'dreams' or maybe I should say 'nightmares' I have of still living the life of bulimia (my last one was less than 2 weeks ago); I am otherwise so at peace with that disorder that use to plague my life and future. Now that I have come open with the addiction I lived with for so many years and with it behind me, I can now live a life pleasing to God and see my dream played out serving God in whatever capacity He wills for my life.
By:Vicki Dunham